Sunday, December 31

An idle mind is a dangerous mind. So powerful, it can drive one’s life upside down if one is not careful.

Today I did a preposterous thing, suggesting what a brainless bird wouldn’t even dare.

If memsahib and bwana are miles apart, obligation is a problem?

The easiest solution is not necessarily the best.

But I digress.

An idle mind. How to put it to use?

You need drive.

And drive it I will.

2007 will be a terrific one.

Take a deep breathe.


~Happy New Year~

Friday, December 8

THANK YOU




To Doctor Meng,

Thank you for saving my laptop from the guillotine!

Tuesday, November 28

identity theft, whether consciously or not, is BAD.

when one speaks, stands, laughs ... like you, you know you've been a victim. perhaps imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, but hey, i don't need a carbon copy.

but then again, why feel so insecure- afraid you cannot be distinguished from the other?

God made us all different.

the individual will prevail.

Wednesday, November 22

Hope the phone rings,
It should any time now.
I've waited a whole day;
I'll wait a little while.

My phone stirs,
I gleefully pounce on it,
Surely it must be you,
Alas, I rejoiced too quick.

Whatever happened to us?
I thought it forever,
Remember our very own day?
Celebrated once and then never.

Perhaps paled in significance,
To that you currently have,
I decided I'll give up
Ownership on nothing that is left.

So here I am,
Not feeling in general;
The consequence of lack of effort,
And interest - in particular.

5 days.
You had the cheek.
Well, at least I know
You have a memory,
And you're great at arithmetic.

Pooh.

Saturday, November 18



this is a smile.

and why is there a smile?

here's why.

1 exams are over!
2 i'm going back home
3 the future is great
4 i'm moving to a new house
5 i'm gonna learn so many new things
6 i have a new wallet
7 i have Jimmy now
8 i'm gonna fix my laptop
9 i'm going to Sarawak
10 i'm going to Korea???

toast!!!

Tuesday, September 19



Time
Crunch

Rise
Odds

Mono
Aims
Vary

Wants
Achieves

Seas
Oceans

Triumph

Ah.

Go get it! =)

Friday, September 8

what is a hedge fund?

i dunno. googled it and i got:

Hedge funds are often unregulated investment vehicles domiciled in offshore locations, with considerable flexibility in the investment markets and techniques they utilize

domiciled? i thought domicile was only a common word in Joanne Tan's essays.

unregulated. sounds cool.

and so, over Ben and Jerry's, in me nurtured an interest in... PB!

ah. i just invited myself to another round of mind boggling, tear jerking decision making.

i'm not so sure. meeting people? why not?

but to the extent of collecting their dry cleaned for them? hell, no!

principles. principles. principles.

JPMorgan. dream.

Add:

v. dom·i·ciled, dom·i·cil·ing, dom·i·ciles
v. tr.

1. To establish (oneself or another person) in a residence.
2. To provide with often temporary lodging.

Tuesday, September 5

Home



i'm going back to Singapore tommorow.
i'm gonna miss home so much.



it never occured to me that i would miss my family and appreciate them even more when i'm physically further away from them. last year i always looked forward to coming back, but for different reasons. i'd be anticipating the day i can meet up with friends, and fill my self with yummies =D. but now, a simple dinner with my family is all it takes to satiate me.



family, i believe, is the essence of life.

where would i be without them?

they are the only people whom i can trust completely.

but after hearing so many stories about other people's rather unharmonious families, i know i'm lucky.


we are small, yes, but we're such a close and caring unit. each of us have upheld our responsibilities, especially mum and dad. and even Joyee, his growth and maturity have amazed me.

i am really proud of them.

and friends... people change. i dare not say i have not. maybe friendships work like enzymes. with different environments, different temperatures, the lock-key theory holds. there is no effective collision, thus there is no point. except for sentimentality that tugs at heartstrings, very much begging to not be forgotten.

then the hectic life rushes in and displaces the sentimentality, and only at times like this when one is alone, and has time to reflect and reminisce about the past, does one feel the loss.



but some friends give me hope... friends who unexpectedly call, or messages you online. there are few, yet they make my life so much more meaningful.

to my friends, and my family,

thank you.

Monday, August 28

the Pianist

watched the Pianist today and now i think Adrien Brody's pretty hot.i didn't notice it when i watched King Kong with Fatty but ah... his eyes and gaze are just so mesmerising.

but the movie was uh... well to make it clear i did not have any food till 2 30pm. i thought the German's ought to be ashamed of themselves. the scenes in real life are surely a few million times worse than portrayed on the silver screen. how did mankind ever stoop so low?

and to think that it happened about only 60 years ago. i think i wouldn't be able to survive even for a day under those conditions.

tommorrow's CHEM I.
i know i will survive.

and oh yeah. i bought teacher's days presents...




nice huh?

hope it makes it's point!

Sunday, August 27




just to brighten things up a bit!
inconspiciously
then a sudden torrent
overwhelming
yet not hard to comprehend

you were direct and forthcoming
i did not expect
although i knew

i knew of the neglect
consciously unconscious
it just did not occur

you had enough

and then i felt it

the tingle
accompanied by
warmth
sourness
guilt

the hand gives
and the hand recieves
and the hand keeps

the hand should offer

sorry.

Friday, August 18

Most Beautiful Poem


IF YOU FORGET ME

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Pablo Neruda

hm... it's true. i can vouch for it...

Wednesday, August 16

? ? ?

QUESTION: how does a contact lense disappear when:-

it's not

a in the sink
b on the dashboard
c in the lense case
d in either eye

?

?

?

that's precisely how i felt when i discovered the right contact lense went AWOL.

early in the morning, BEFORE Chem Paper III.

!!!

shocked, a bit shaken, stirred.

couldn't help wondering whether i was sabotaged.

maybe the contact lense solution's too nutritious- the lense turned into some living organism overnight and decided to take leave.

hah... that means i have to go home for more supplies!

hurrah! decision made. =)

Saturday, August 12

Please call Guiness World Records: i found a species more hardworking than worker ants!

had a marvellous pizza dinner! *burp* my last supper? hope not...

indeed Singapore is a loony place. students, around the ages of 19, study at the MacDonald's at Changi Airport at 3 AM!!!

for goodness sake, whatever happened to raging hormones? please head to the closest hangout now, or see a doc asap.

"Singapore is a vibrant country with a melting pot of cultures and traditions. We pride ourselves for improving from boring-fudgey-dudgey to allowing bar top dancing! and the crazy horse cabaret! although we still ban chewing gum... no, no, we are not going to give in to pressures that emanate from across the straits. no, no, we are not going to loose our comparative advantage in the rubber industry. We wish you a pleasant journey. Thank you for flying XXX airlines. Xie xie. Terima kasih. -insert Tamil here-".

and the average ang moh steps out of his plane looking forward to netting a few 'local delights' and WHOA! he sees young people like those in his country, who at the same age would be off smoking pot or contributing to the world's population growth, nose deep inside books, and notes and tutorials.

great first impression, huh?

Thursday, August 10

Etchings on the Prison Wall

the season to save is here. by that i mean not going out and contributing to the Aggregate Demand of the Singaporean economy,because i'm now in self imprisonment. well, actually i can choose to not submit to that, i can choose to play, and whala! my future is so bright it hurts my eyes...

things to do after prelims:

1 my fav CG =)
2 clean my room
3 maybe go back to KL? i'll miss my homey home of 18 years
4 reconnect with friends
5 embark on the path of self discovery ie my niche
6 look up universities and decide, decide, decide
7 spice is nice
8 GP!!!
9 study
10 study
11 study

quite a remarkable list, i'd say.

toast to the great months ahead.

Saturday, July 22

i shan't mince my words: I AM STRESSED.

haih... every two years i get angina that lasts 6 months. and this time it burns real bad, baby.

maybe its a good thing. you know, conservation of energy. angst to kinetic. but actually what i need is brain power, or photographic memory. anything!!!

all i have is my brain, which of course, is better than nothing.

i need an electric shock.

Saturday, July 15

dear boot,

we walked.

we ran.

we're flying.

never touch ground.

=)

Thursday, July 13

the boot and i

jo has an old boot.

there is nothing special about the boot, except that it is comfortable, it is what she has been wearing for the past one and a half years.

the boot is not long lasting, and it has lost its shine, through friction with the ground, or just age, who knows?

and there are holes on the boot, some wear and tear. patches on the sole, on the body, which she has tried to prevent. the shoelaces resist knots. the boot has lost its bind with the foot.

she knows that she does not want to wear the boot into adulthood. it would not suite her ideal lifestyle. it would not follow her to her next destination.

unless, HOPE. HEAL. HUMILITY.

how she wishes the boot would reinvent itself. she wants to keep the boot forever.

in the world according to hope, everything is possible.

the boot must understand. forgive the boot for causing her to trip, and scar her knees real bad- she can. but too many times. distrust and scepticsm gnaw the bond like maggots.

disinfect. the only solution.

the boot shies away.

square 1.

boot, let's take the first step.

Friday, July 7

i should have, shouldn't i?

heap praises on me!!!

i'm a good samaritan.

now you're probably very sceptical and giving me quizzical looks. but here's why.

i was withdrawing money from the POSB ATM in Clementi, so i stuck my card in and realised there was something inside there. i looked at the user interface, and by golly! some absent minded being had left his card inside the slot, and it was at the stage where i could just about walk away richer. the guy had typed in his PIN.

ah no, i have morals... i couldn't pounce on some poor guy who probably received a phone call from his mistress whose water bag just burst right?

so i did THE right thing.

so here you have it. a poorer Joleen.

but right after i handed the card to the inquiries counter at the bank, a random thought hit me. what if the card was left there on purpose? i don't want to be paranoid, but the government has been cautioning about high tech ATM card PIN number robbers. not as if i have much to be robbed off anyway. =)

hope karma is what i think it is.

Saturday, July 1
















Germany won. And i feel great.

Fatty's exams are over. And i feel great.

Had Haagen Dazs after dinner. And i feel great.

Monday is Youth Day. And i feel great.

Meeting Michele and roomies tommorow. And i feel great.

There's tonnes of homework. But i'll strive because i can. And i feel great.

i'm gonna get fantastic results for Prelims and A-levels. And i feel great.

i love my life. =)

Monday, June 26




Filter the lights if it glares
Turn a deaf ear if it pierces

Embrace
Nourish
Realise

Be what you want to be


Cheers.

Saturday, June 3

joy and toil




going home tomorrow!!! and my room is a mess. where's Patrick?

went to volunteer at the Pathlight School for Autistic Children with Fatty on Monday and Tuesday. it was quite eye opening. some of the children were seemingly normal and did not show one bit of "wierdness" that is so oftenly associated with autism. there was enthusiastic Emma, mousy Marcus who supports England ("England will win the World Cup!" praise the lord), and sassy Shafikah, who are just normal kids to me.

of course, there are those at the extreme end of the spectrum, and who exhibit abnormal behaviour like mumbling incessantly to themsleves. nevertheless, these children are gifted, as if to make up for their imperfectness. the great guru of self talk, Daniel, has marvellous memory. he can memorise shark names, both common and scientific, and tell you their specific habitats.

we went to Sentosa and East Coast Park and played kites, cycled, and drove the luge! i've never drove a luge before, much less bring another person along, but i managed to bring a few of them and emerged unscathed!!! haha perhaps my driving skills aren't that bad after all. dad would have been proud. =D

sat for my SAT I today. how should i say? well, it was... OK. though i'm gonna have a particular dislike towards the word integer for the next few years. hope that my spending countless hours holed up in Jurong Library preparing for it pays off!

did i say that i'm going home tomorrow? JOY.

Sunday, May 21

i got looted!

i finally realised what piracy means.

my idea got nicked today. it was a V day gift on which i had spent close to a trillion litres of brain juice just thinking about it. oh well, it was reproduced, and truthfully, i'm not quite happy about it.

fatty said that plagiarism is the the best form of flattery.

"it just means that your idea was impressive enough to garner copying worth it."

if i can remember i think some artist said that too. was it Daniel of Malaysian Idol fame who was so excited to see the pirated version of his CD sold in the pasar malam?

okay, so that makes me feel marginally better. marginally. i'd still like to think that my idea is one of a kind. and the person who recieves it is also one of a kind...

ah, but i'm creative, i'm original. i can always think of something better.

its not as if i can charge the pirate anyway... =)

Friday, May 19

Tentative Steps

hello!

this is my first blog, probably one of the few flings i will have with this new activity.

so , yeah, an update on my life. we'll start of with my stomach. aha had wonderful guacomole dip with chips made by Mrs Dolly Khemani today for Ed Board welcome tea, which is half a year late. like i care when i have nice food. =)

read Gayle Goh's blog again today. She's sharp, that girl. but somehow her looks are decieving. and really how does she find so much time to write such lengthy posts every single day?

about my blog's title, its actually "borrowed" from Yann Martel, author of Life of Pi. i called my previous blog "Floats", now, looking back, i think it was a pretty dumb title for a blog.

am gonna fill up my love tank, hm, Fatty? working real hard to mend the hole, hope and resilience is all it needs...

i'm having a sexy deep voice now. cheered too much for AC netball. never in my entire life have i cheered my heart out as much as yesterday, what more to the point where tears are at the verge of cascading down because of an insane happiness that drowned the heart. its wierd sometimes how one feels for a third party. guess that's external benefit for you.

your gaze is a radius? rotate your head lah stupid!

but you can't see what's behind you simultaneously, right?

=)