How will it be if one day, the sun refuses to shine, the mountains decide to take flight, and the river flows upstream? Nevermind the hyperbole, but faced with the nascent probability of something akin to abandonment, I expect the disorientation would be nothing less than shocking.

You know that part of your life has always been a sacred cow.

But do they not trust you? Maybe it's not about trust. But do they not love you? Maybe it's not about love either.

Perhaps not all is unconditional.

Hello hello! Back from the trip to Penang and Langkawi with 604 roomies. I didn't get any tan but my face has a permanent kiss from the sun. =(

Smellies at Kek Lok Si

We haven't been hanging out for quite a while- the last time we met up was in March, so I felt awkward initially, like there was a gap that needed to be filled. I cannot help but compare this little holiday with that in Sarawak, where we were closer, and I felt more comfortable and relaxed. Perhaps we needed time to melt the ice, because things started to get more fun during the 3rd and 4th day. The afternoon at the beach did wonders. I was more myself, which is to say I became more zany and a tad pea-brained.

Penang was quite disappointing in terms of food. I had laksa twice, and neither met the superior Jusco laksa standards. And even their char kuey teow was average, albeit having larger-than-usual prawns.

Our sand mermaid with lovingly sculptured boobs

Cheap beer elevated Langkawi's position way above Penang's. Chang at RM 2.00 per can? Plus RM 75 for a seafood dinner for four? Not much gets more economical than that. =D Hehe and since I'm a nature-at-heart kind of girl, the island hopping with eagle and monkey sighting was pretty worth it too.

Wind blown hair for the model effect on ferry from Penang to Langkawi

These all-girl trips are rare. Thank you Michele, Bei Shi, Zhi Ying, Lim Zhi, June Ping and Qiao Wen- you guys were great company. Hope this vacation will not be the last.

What's furry, sleep-eats, scurries like it's the Gold Rush, has been muse for movies and is featured along with the Gooey Kablooie in Calvin & Hobbes? Need a hint?


Hehe... Hamsterville! Their food's right on top of their cage; the organic rolled oats are for human consumption.

I have a soft spot for furry little things, but the hamsters aren't mine. Shi Ying's off to Sarawak for a few days, so I'm to take care of them until she comes back.


They're nameless. How sad. =( I've taken to calling them Munchi aka Fatty and Bambi (short for Bamboozle).

Though doggies are superior, hamsters are pretty adorable too. =D You can't take them for walks, but you can watch them dig for kuaci, and rearrange their food in their cheek pockets. You can't hug hamsters, but you can wave 'hi' and wiggle your nose at them.

Hamsters are smart, too. See the hay? Bambi somehow pushes it to the middle, directly underneath the clear plastic flap, so as to elevate him/herself - perfect for a Houdini.


I'm smitten, again. Perhaps a hamster or two to accompany me during uni?

Sometimes it takes an in-your-face approach to send the message across. Sometimes you have to do it military style to explain your intentions. Because sometimes I cannot help being ignorant, or I simply refuse to acknowledge the obvious.

Sometimes I believe I can do without you; sometimes I cannot envision a future sans you. And because you always seem so strong, and so sure of yourself, I thought you were fine. I'm not always sensitive to your needs and emotions, but to say I was completely taken aback when you voiced your dissatisfaction is a lie. You said "How come you don't do it naturally?" I guess I've known all this while, a niggling feeling that was conveniently disposed, labeled under "forgotten conscience".

How to reason? How to do reality checks when reality, to me, always changes?

It's all a gamble. Life is a gamble, and we'll never know the outcome until it happens. We can only guess and have faith and hope.

Hello!

I've decided. For real.

So it's going to be NUS- Chemical Engineering with Economics, something yours truly wouldn't have considered 2 weeks ago. I surprised myself. No doubt Fatty was "pleasantly shocked" too. How much influence did he really have in this swinging decision? Well, I'll never be able to make a model to calculate it, thus we would never really know, won't we?

Thanks to Sam for giving honest opinions regarding my di/trilemma. I was confused. And even now I cannot be sure of what I really want. The window's still open, and the wind, though reduced to a zephyr, is still blowing.

Mum says that I've had TWO chances to go overseas. Once after SPM, and another after A levels. I turned down both. That's quite dense, I must say. So many would gladly give half a limb for it. And to be proffered the carrot twice, ain't I one lucky devil?

After doing the calculations, the cost of studying in Singapore is really a fraction of that needed for UK. That should lessen the burden on Mum and Dad, maybe forestalling the emergence of wrinkles. We can have nicer furniture in Tropicana. =D

I'll just have to vindicate myself, perhaps by creating another opportunity. Europe had better watch out for me.

*

Read through Fatty's appeal. It's jolly good, a straight from the heart and gut account. Fingers crossed.

LUNCHTIME!!!

I'm at dad's office now, filling in for Kavita who is getting married. Basically my job is pretty manual. Faxing, DO-ing, e-mails, typing quotations etc. Oh and it's worth RM900/month, starting pay. Easy but the pay is no good. Either I'm an efficient worker, or I'm not qualified or experienced enough to do more, because I've got so much "free" time I've learnt how to play Hearts. And I even brought Monty along. He's here, pictured with my favourite glass that has the magical powers to make me drink a lot of water in this dry, somewhat ho hum environment.


I realize I like familiar surroundings. I like them personalised. I'm like the wolves who pee around their den to proclaim "This is my space!". But mine is much more subtle. No realpolitik. More Ghandian. Invasion through softies. A monkey here, an orange heart shaped pillow there... Ha!

Say, if you took a fresh egg and hurled it against the wall, the result would largely resemble my scattered brains.

It's all back to choices again. Time is closing down on me. Act fast!!!

Three different courses. Four universities. Two countries. One huge factor. And one defining headache.

But you know what would rid all this? You telling me, yes, I'll go with you.